Oh this is hard.

I had planned to go on about how the foster parenting classes didn’t tell us how hard it would be to make the call that perhaps a placement wasn’t the right fit, but now that I think on it, we did talk about it, there is just no preparing for how difficult it can be. So much of what we have seen during our first experience, has been what we were told may happen; the acting out, shutting down emotionally, etc.

Just Friday I was dead-set on making it work.

Now Monday, after a weekend of new concerns, I realize our home, our routines and rules may not be the right situation for our youngest foster. Yesterday he bit our son. He and my son sprayed down the chicks with the hose set to jet, nearly killing two of them. What concerns me the most about the chickens was the lack of remorse or regret from Nelson. My son was devastated, near tears when he learned what they did may result in the chicks’ death. He prayed passionately for God’s forgiveness and the chicks’ recovery and kept repeating that he should not have listened to Nelson (who is three years younger than my son).

I plan to talk to the social worker today to ask about a therapeutic home or possibly a placement where he is the only child.

This is so troubling because my husband and I don’t wish to give up on him. We want to help him, not cause more damage; this is why we are fostering in the first place, fully knowing most children are troubled and traumatized by what has happened to them. I am concerned we cannot help him here, and that is devastating.