I’m honestly not sure if it’s fatigue related to a physical malady or more of a depressed state of mind, but whatever the cause, today was one of those days when it seems like it would take an act of God to get me moving.

Emotionally I felt flat, physically I felt exhausted. I got out of bed, walked the dogs, had a cup of coffee, took the kids to their summer program, came home and hit a wall hard, wanting nothing more than to crawl back into bed and hide. Those days were more frequent when the kids were younger – days when I knew I would not be able to function if I had not had two little loves to care for and a wonderful husband to be present for. Days I would sit and stare out the window feeling empty inside – for absolutely no reason, just bland, dulled, out of it. I had, and still have no reason to be down. It’s just this frustratingly odd, temporary fluctuation in mood.

I caught myself doing that today; staring mindlessly at the dirty dishes, cluttered dresser and floors that needed sweeping. I had not slept well for a few nights and found myself having tremors again with jerking muscle movements and dizziness yesterday, but last night I slept well – so the fatigue I felt seemed more emotional than anything else.

What I did was slowly, I took care of a few simple mundane chores; sweeping, laundry etc, then I attacked the chore that would make the biggest impact. It was something simple – stowing away some bulky items – but it was the most obvious, something that would be apparent to not only me, and would make it seem like I accomplished something. Then I took a very long route to walk to pick up the kids, and goodness gracious it was hot! Apparently it was enough to snap me out of my funk.

Knowing these moods are temporary helps me push through the day to get to the other side. I know I will have days when I feel untouchable, powerful, motivated and strong. And then there will be day when for no apparent reason, it will take tremendous force of will to drag myself out of bed but that’s okay. I love myself and I forgive myself for needing a day now and then.