Having been out of work on temporary disability for over four weeks now, my employer will no longer provide health insurance. As a type 1 diabetic and while still in the midst of trying to discover the cause of my seizure activity, I deperately need coverage. My insulin alone costs hundreds a month, not even taking into account my pump supplies ($400+ per month), testing supplies and doctors visits, our family cannot afford my health.

I was denied Medicaid since my TDI (temporary disability insurance) counts as income, and my husband also works. Our family income is too high. And when referred to the Market Place for Obamacare, I was denied yet again because of income.

So I ended up purchasing my own policy, the ‘Bronze’ HMSA (Hawaii Medical Service Association) HMO. With a ridiculously high deductible, high doctor’s office copays and pitiful medication coverage only on generics. Funny thing about insulin; generic options are slim-to-none. And there are many different insulins that work in different ways, it is going to be quite a challenge changing up my regime when I have to go off my insulin pump and buy the cheaper insulin… you know, in order to LIVE.

The Feels

I say ‘defeated’ because in times like these, struggling with health issues while trying to care for your family and planning for the future, it’s comforting to believe there is help out there for honest, hard working people who have fallen on hard times. When I realized I would be out of work for more than a few weeks, I began planning for the possibility of needing insurance and financial assistance. I looked into social security and disability as well as medicaid. The few knowledgeable people I spoke with insisted I would have no problems qualifying. The systems put in place to assist people in my situation were completely unhelpful.

I say ‘not depressed’ because I am now more motivated than ever to get back to work. I love being a nurse, contributing financially to our family is incredibly rewarding, and my good days (days when I am feeling well enough to be productive) are now outnumbering my bad days (days when I feel shaky, weak, fatigued and useless). I am also far more motivated to stay healthy. My diabetes is always a challenge, but with the fear of mounting medical bills looming over my head – I have more reason to stay away from the carbs, alcohol and junk food that reap havoc on my blood sugars. The less carbs I take in, the less insulin I’ll need to buy.