With a gasp, I reached out to my feet tucked underneath me on the couch, rather than their normal position on the ottoman in front of me. Palpating my soles, I realize with shock that they did not burn. My heels did not tingle. My toes were not painfully numb. I look over to my husband with tears in my eyes and utter in disbelief; ‘my feet feel almost normal!’ 

This was shocking to me simply because I did not realize how long it had been since my feet were comfortable. It started with a tickle, an itch. Gradually over the next year, my obviously unsuccessful efforts to relieve the itch by rubbing my feet on edges and applying anti-fungal cream, I came to realize this was the beginning of diabetic nerve damage, or peripheral neuropathy. After the itching came tingling. It was slightly irritating but certainly not disruptive. After the tingling – burning.

I had experienced what some doctors call RLS – or restless leg syndrome, which I am now attributing to some mutation of the neuropathy – in years past. This coiled, uncomfortable energy that would have me hopping foot to foot, stretching obsessively and eventually having me turn to ibuprofen to relax my muscles, would disrupt my sleep often, but when the burning in my feet began, the combination was too much to take. I began taking Gabapentin to treat the nerve pain. As long as I did not miss any doses, the burning pain did not keep me up. The trouble was that I was needed to keep increasing the dose over two years in order to keep the discomfort at a tolerable rate. At the age of 36 I was maxed out on the dosage and I was still awake for most of the night with the coiled, antsy, cramping energy in my legs, as well as the burning and shooting pains in my feet. 

Inconveniently, my insurance did not cover the Lyrica my doctor prescribed me when the gabapentin evidently failed me. The next day the pharmacy called me to notify me that the prescription my doctor had called in for duloxetine (Cymbalta)  was ready to be picked up. After extensive research and quite a bit of contemplation, I was still undecided. My concern was due to the pride and comfort I had felt from being anti-depressant free. Duloxetine is a selective serotonin and norepinephrine reuptake inhibitor (SSNRI). I am very hesitant to take any medication that changes the chemicals in my brain but my research showed how helpful the medication can be for treating neuropathy. With prayer for guidance, I decided to give it a try.  

The. First. Night, my feet felt so normal, I had not even given them a second though until I realized the position I usually kept on the couch for our nightly show, was not to alleviate the pain in my feet by elevating them.

The good and the bad: I am tired every day at about 3:00pm. For the first week, I felt nauseous in the afternoon so that I could not eat dinner. I weighed the benefit of not having the pain to be far above the inconvenience of feeling tired and nauseous. One month in, the discomfort in my feet comes back now and then but not nearly bad enough to keep me up at night. The nausea is gone but the evening fatigue persists. Another highlight of the medication is my reduced appetite. I have struggled as long as  I can remember with an uncontrollable hunger resulting in eating disorders. I can say, at this point, my urge to binge has vanished. I have lost weight and keep exercising daily. I am now able to focus on assuring the food I put in my system is fuel, not entertainment. I believe the SSNRI has helped me with this aspect.

I feel empowered, stronger, and my peripheral neuropathy – although certainly not cured – is significantly improved with the duloxetine.